


The Kindest Lie

by Brumeier



Series: Life With Eli [3]
Category: The Sentinel
Genre: Christmas Fluff, Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-12
Updated: 2015-12-12
Packaged: 2018-05-06 06:22:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5406293
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Brumeier/pseuds/Brumeier
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jim isn't sure about introducing Eli to the concept of Santa, but Eli's going to make his own determinations on the subject.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Kindest Lie

Bemis Park on the Upper East Side of Cascade turned into a Christmas wonderland as soon as Thanksgiving was over. They had everything: live reindeer, a living nativity, a miniature train the kids could ride on, Santa’s village, and the big man himself. There wasn’t always snow, but the kids never seemed to mind.

Blair was eager to take Eli, who was weeks away from his first birthday. His own childhood holiday celebrations had been hit or miss, and he wanted something different for his son. He wanted Eli to grow up with holidays full of joy and belief and family. He wanted Eli to know both Hanukkah and Christmas. Jim wasn’t as easily convinced. 

“He’s too little, Chief. It won’t mean anything to him.”

“Of course it will,” Blair argued. He and Jim were in their bedroom, changing for bed. Eli had been asleep for hours, tucked into his crib in his room across the hall. “We may not remember the details of our childhoods, but the foundations we create today are never really forgotten.” 

Jim huffed out a laugh. “You’ve been reading psych journals again.”

Blair grinned unrepentantly. Since becoming a father he’d read everything he could get his hands on regarding child development and parenting. 

“Maybe I have, but that doesn’t mean I’m wrong.” He pulled his shirt over his head and tossed it in the nearby laundry basket after giving it a quick sniff. “Remind me to put laundry soap on the shopping list.”

“You know, we haven’t talked about it.”

“Talked about what? Laundry soap?” Blair shucked his jeans and draped them over the chair in the corner.

Jim was still dressed, though his shirt was unbuttoned and showing the white undershirt beneath. No matter how much time passed, Blair never tired of looking at his partner. He may have been a bit softer around the middle these days, and there were more wrinkles on his face, but he’d always be beautiful to Blair.

“Santa.”

Blair dragged his eyes up to Jim’s face. “What about him?” 

“It’s just…if you want to take him to the park, he’s going to see other kids telling some guy in a Santa suit what they want for Christmas.”

“Well, yeah. Isn’t that what kids do at Christmas?” Blair dropped down on the edge of the bed. He felt like he was missing something important. “What’s this about, big guy?”

Jim rubbed a hand on the back of his neck. “It just seems like we shouldn’t tell Eli such a big lie.”

Really, after eight years spent living and working with Jim, Blair should’ve known there’d be more unexpected Ellison bombs dropped on him. The man could still be pretty miserly about revealing his past, even after all this time.

“Your father didn’t do the whole Santa thing when you were a kid, did he?”

“He didn’t think a mythical figure should get the credit for the gifts he bought with his hard-earned money,” Jim replied, sounding as if he were reading from a script.

Blair shook his head and had to force himself not to scowl. Another wonderful life lesson handed down by William Ellison. Jim and his father had a tentative relationship now, strengthened by William’s instant acceptance of Eli as his grandson, but it had taken a lot of work and a lot of forgiveness.

“Do I really have to tell you how wrong that thinking is?” Blair held out his hand and waited patiently for Jim to come close enough to grab hold of it. He tugged Jim closer, pulling him down on the bed beside him. “Not all lies are bad, Jim. Belief in Santa promotes emotional and cognitive growth, even when kids figure out the truth. Besides, would it be so bad to teach Eli to believe in the spirit of giving?”

“I don’t want him to hate me,” Jim said so softly Blair almost didn’t hear it.

Sometimes Jim really broke his heart.

Blair pressed a kiss to the side of Jim’s head. “He won’t hate you. Discovering the truth about Santa is a rite of passage, another induction into the adult world. Will he be disappointed? Probably. But he won’t hate you. He won’t.”

Jim didn’t say anything, just rested his head against Blair’s. They sat that way for a long time, Blair silently giving Jim his support and vowing to himself to give both his boys an extra special Christmas.

*o*o*o*

Eli was wide-eyed, one pudgy hand clutching tightly to the collar of Jim’s jacket and the other pointing at everything he saw. The park was full of people, and a roving band of carolers dressed in Victorian garb, and Eli was taking it all in.

One of the unexpected side benefits of being a parent, Blair was discovering, was introducing his son to the wonders great and small that life had to offer. For Eli everything was new. He was just starting to form his own opinions, just starting to decide what was good (peas) and what was not (shoes). It gave Blair a different perspective on his own globe-trotting childhood.

“You keeping it dialed down, Jim?” he asked, out of habit now more than anything else.

“I’m good.” Jim pointed at the reindeer pen. “Hey, squirt. You wanna see the reindeer?”

“Da!” Eli said in agreement. It was his word for everything, though Jim insisted he was trying to say ‘daddy’ even when it was clear he meant something else.

According to the literature, Eli should’ve had a vocabulary of about seven or so words, but in that one area of development he was lagging. Blair frequently assured Jim – and himself – that all children developed at different speeds, and Eli would talk when he was ready. For the moment, he was able to give his handful of word-like sounds different meanings just with inflection.

There were three reindeer in the enclosure, two with horns and one without, and the collars around their necks held little gold placards with their names: Dasher, Donner and Blitzen.

“I wonder where the rest of them are,” Blair said.

“Maybe they loan them out to other holiday displays.” Jim reached out and put his free hand on Donner’s head. “See? Soft and furry. Do you want to try?”

Eli turned his face into Jim’s neck and popped his thumb in his mouth. That was a no.

“Here.” Blair pulled a travel pack of all-natural baby wipes out of the messenger bag that had been repurposed as a diaper bag, and wiped off Jim’s hand. He was more conscious than he’d ever been about contaminants both natural and man-made, and he wasn’t taking any chances.

They moved from the reindeer to a stage where young actors from the local children’s theater were performing scenes from _The Nutcracker_. As soon as Eli heard the music he started wiggling around in Jim’s arms, lips stretched in a grin around his thumb. 

“Hold on there, squirt. I don’t want to drop you.” Jim set Eli down on his still-wobbly legs. 

The boy immediately began bouncing up and down in time to the music, thumb still firmly planted in his mouth. Blair pulled out the camera and took some pictures to send to Naomi. Eli loved music, and dancing to it. He had a CD player in his room which played Celtic lullabies on repeat all night, which seemed to help him sleep.

Jim watched Eli with a big grin on his face. “He looks like a mini you.”

“I’m not the one who dressed him today,” Blair pointed out. Jim wasn’t wrong, though. Eli was wearing a miniature flannel shirt – the weather was unusually mild for December – and a knit cap in a matching shade of green that had just a few dark curls peeking out from beneath it.

“He’s a better dancer,” Jim said. He slung an arm around Blair’s shoulders, and Blair leaned into the embrace.

“He really is.”

“Ba!” Eli shouted around his thumb, still bouncing around to the music. “Ba! Ba!”

Blair looked up at Jim, watching him watch their son. Eli had brought changes to their lives, big and small, but the best had been getting to see Jim blossom as a father. Over the past year he’d really settled into his new role, settled into himself. It had been a privilege to experience.

“What?” Jim asked. “I got something on my face?”

“Yeah. You do.” Blair pulled him down for a quick kiss.

Their eyes were only off Eli for a second, long enough for him to end up in the arms of a very authentic-looking Santa. Jim instantly went on alert, his whole body stiffening, but Blair just boggled. His son was normally very wary around strangers, or even family he hadn’t seen in a while. But there he was, one hand curled around Santa’s beard while he babbled away.

“Ba! Da, da, da.” Eli pointed at his fathers. “Pom!”

“Your son is very friendly,” Santa said. 

“He’s not normally,” Blair said. He studied Eli’s face, but there were no signs of distress, just open happiness.

“Come here, squirt.” Jim held his arms out and Eli transferred himself willingly. He laid a wet, smacking kiss on Jim’s cheek.

“Merry Christmas!” Santa said. He waved at Eli before moving on.

Eli opened and closed his fist several times, his version of a wave, and beamed at Blair. “Tan-ta,” he said. “Ba!”

Blair looked at Jim, startled. “Did he just say ‘Santa’?”

Jim looked just as surprised. “You know what, Chief? I think our boy already believes.”

Eli just kept waving at Santa’s retreating back. “Ba!”

**Author's Note:**

>  **AN:** Deadlines and challenges be damned, little Eli wanted to meet Santa and I was helpless to say no. Just a bit of holiday fluff and nonsense. ::grins::


End file.
